Shana - Baby Loss Awareness Special - Miscarriage
I felt: overwhelming sadness
I was: in shock
I needed: answers and time to digest
Pregnancy and infant loss is: a different type of pain and grief. It’s like having the most extraordinary gift suddenly taken away.
What has been your experience with pregnancy/infant loss?
We’ve had 4 miscarriages (MC) since beginning our journey to start a family with my husband.
My first came just a week after our wedding in 2014, I was 10 weeks pregnant. It was so very unexpected and traumatic. My first miscarriage was most emotionally painful than the 3 that followed.
After a year of trying we finally fell pregnant again, this time with some medical help. This pregnancy unfortunately also ended in MC and a trip to the hospital with excessive haemorrhaging and surgery needed.
My 3rd pregnancy was a success and we welcomed our beautiful boy Hunter late 2016.
After Hunter turned 1, we started trying again, knowing that it could take some time to achieve a healthy and viable pregnancy given our past experiences. We were pregnant once again a few months later in 2018, but at my 12 week scan we could not detect a heart beat, and again I underwent surgery. Shortly after I was consulted by the hospital, and was told the tissue from my surgery indicated a partial-molar pregnancy. This can be somewhat of a health issue, as molar pregnancies are known to rapidly develop into cancer. I was then under the care of my hospital until my hormones returned to a safe level and was given the all clear to start trying again.
I got pregnant very quickly after, but at a follow up 10 week scan, discovered once again the baby had died at about 9 weeks.
My husband and I took some time to have a break and reset before trying again. After a few months of disappointingly not falling pregnant we sought the help of my OB/GYN, and within a short time we fell pregnant with our 2nd son Hayne, who we welcomed late last year.
How did this affect you?
It is emotionally and physically draining to experience so much loss and grief. Getting pregnant consumed me and when I was pregnant, I was wreathing with anxiety, constantly worrying if I’ll make it to the “safe” 12 week mark.
What was helpful/unhelpful during this challenging time?
The support of my husband, friends and family was immense. My girl gang were there for me at every stage, and I am so grateful for their love and care. Also, chocolate was very helpful!
What support did you need?
I needed more support, follow up, and answers from the various public health centres where I received care. I feel there is very little information and support given to women who experience miscarriage.
Were you able to access any?
It is definitely limited when going through the public health system but I was very fortunate to have had private care with my OB/GYN. He went over and beyond to ensure I had everything I needed to understand what was happening, he helped me to move forward, and made sure I had everything I needed to meet my health needs.
Any words for other families going through pregnancy/infant loss?
Please talk about it and know that you are not alone. Discussing and expressing your grief is an essential part of understanding your feelings and emotions. By talking to loved ones, they can help support you, and give you the love and care that you need to move forward.
Anything else you’d like to share...
Remember that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, surround yourself with positives and remember to always prioritise love.